


hiraeth

by netsirhc



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-24 19:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20912567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netsirhc/pseuds/netsirhc
Summary: (n.) a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was





	hiraeth

“What are you thinking about?” 

_ Now that’s a good question _ , Chris thinks to himself as he looks up to meet an icy gaze. Chris thinks about a lot of things lately, things that he’d rather not say out loud, thank you very much. 

He thinks about how he’s  _ never _ going to win gold at the GPF if his choreography doesn’t push the limits that Viktor sets every year. He thinks about how much longer before he’d have to touch up the hair dye in his undercut. He thinks of mundane, boring things. 

But right now, it’s anything but mundane. He’s thinking that even though he’s lying against Viktor as the adrenaline of their mind blowing sex drains, he’s craving  _ more _ . He wants more than the sex, the secretive kisses behind closed doors and watching Viktor “date” all of the eligible bachelorettes. He thinks that he  _ needs _ more. 

But most of all, he’s thinking about how in love with Viktor Nikiforov he is. 

“I’ll never tell. It’s part of my mysterious persona.” Chris jokes with only a slight hesitation and he knows that Viktor catches it. He doesn’t speak on it but he does probe deeper. 

“Right. Of course. So, you must be thinking about something embarrassing then or something you don’t want to talk to me about.” He raises his brow, waiting for confirmation of his observation. He gets rewarded with a flabbergasted Chris. He smirks, his thumb rubbing over the man’s tanned hip. 

_ Damn him. _

“Why do you want to get in my head so bad, Viktor?” Chris asked, looking up from where he’s nuzzled against the silver haired man. He doesn’t mean for it to come out so demanding but he realizes how it sounds just as Viktor’s face falls. He quickly backtracks with a heavy sigh, his teeth chewing at his bottom lip as the nerves start to coil in his stomach. 

“I want more, Viktor.” 

There was a moment of silence and Viktor chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to Chris’ neck. “Well then, why didn’t you say so-“ 

“That’s not what I mean.” Chris interjects softly, his heart hammering in his chest as he feels Viktor freeze in his neck. He can’t see him but he can practically hear the gears turn in his head. There was a long silence before he pulled away to look at the Swiss man, his expression in realization. He doesn’t speak or move from his spot around Chris, so he continues. 

“I want more. I want to go out on dates with you and walk with you down the street. I want to hold your hand and kiss you anytime I want, no matter who’s around. I don’t want to be a secret anymore. I...I want to love you. I want more...with you.” Chris finally takes a break, the emotion welling inside his throat as it aches. Viktor is looking at him with the saddest eyes and Chris can’t help but have the fear of rejection. 

Viktor must see this because he quickly takes a turn to speak but just as who he is, he ends up surprising Chris. “I do too, Chris. I want all of those things and more, I really do.”

Chris could feel his heart leap at Viktor’s words and  _ finally _ , he thinks. He can finally love Viktor the way he’s been wanting to for ages. 

“But we can’t.” The words and tight, emotion spilling into every syllable and Chris could feel Viktor’s grip tighten slightly on his waist. 

“ _ Why not? _ ” Chris asks, the brief high of Viktor’s previous words crashing down and burning. He could feel his eyes start to burn and Viktor is still looking at him with sadness in his eyes but there’s also...hurt? “Why, Viktor?” 

“I can’t leave Russia, Chris. Not because I don’t  _ want _ to but I  _ can’t _ . If I do, not only will I lose all of my sponsors but I could face legal action.” Viktor whispered, his voice keeping the tightness as he explained. He must have seen the confusion on Chris’ face because he continued quickly. “Homosexuality is deemed a mental illness here, Chris. There’s no laws protecting us if we got jumped on the way home. Please don’t think I don’t want you, I do. I want you with all of myself. I-“ He takes a deep breath, meets Chris’ wide gaze and smiles hopelessly. 

“I love you.” 

Chris’ heart hammers against his chest and he can  _ feel _ the love spreading throughout his body as his smile is breaking his face. “You...you love me?” 

Viktor sighs with a soft smile and nods. “Of course I do.” His expression holds, his eyes chasing every detail of Chris’ face before his smile lacks. “I’m working on getting away, Chris. I really am. But...I don’t know if it’ll work. And if it does, I don’t know how long it’ll take. Can you...can you trust me and wait for me, just a little while longer?” He asks, his thumb brushing across Chris’ jaw gently. 

Chris leans in and takes Viktor’s supple lips softly, putting in all of his emotions that he could give. “Of course I can.” He murmurs against Viktor’s lips, his breath hitching as he readies himself for his next words. 

“Because I love you too. No matter what Russia thinks about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies on any incorrect information pertaining to Russia's status on LGBT members. 
> 
> Just a heart wrenching drabble I found in my drafts. I may continue this, if my muse doesn't kill me first. Please let me know if you'd like to see more of this plot! As always, kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> Also if you want, you can buy me a Kofi! ko-fi.com/netsirhc ♡


End file.
